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Thread: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

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    Default Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

    The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    Reminds me of this sign

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    "I really don't know which kid I'm supposedly being unfair to, according to my wife, Thomas, Anton, or the fat, ugly one?"

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.

    Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”

    “Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    What do you call two fat people having a chat? -- A heavy discussion

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a job.
    The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The young guy says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."
    Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.
    "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
    His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.
    "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average sales to 25 to 30 customers a day.
    This is gonna have to change very soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Dakota, but you're not on the farm anymore, son."
    The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
    The kid looks up at his boss and says "$124,548.88".
    The boss, astonished, says $124,548.88??? What the heck did you sell?"
    The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Chevrolet Suburban."
    The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a SUV???"
    The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Bro, your weekend's a mess, you should go fishing.

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    A teacher was teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her her students to ask their parents what the government is.
    When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and ask his what the government was.
    His dad thought for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.''
    ''I still don't get it'' responded the Little Johnny.
    ''Why don't you sleep on it then? Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
    ''Okay then...good night'' said Little Jonny went off to bed. In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent's room to get help. When he got to his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, ''OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!''

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    A developer tell to a arch Viz guy "come one men, give me a better price, I will be bringing you a lot of work for you"
    SkylineArch likes this.
    "It is good to renew one's wonder"

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    Quote Originally Posted by fco3d View Post
    A developer tell to a arch Viz guy "come one men, give me a better price, I will be bringing you a lot of work for you"
    That reminds me of the classic joke of "Do these renderings for free, and if the project goes through I'll give you a cut"
    digitalputty likes this.

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    Default Re: Don't get too stressed out. Have some joke

    Quote Originally Posted by SkylineArch View Post
    That reminds me of the classic joke of "Do these renderings for free, and if the project goes through I'll give you a cut"
    lol
    "It is good to renew one's wonder"

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