New business building with two houses

[Zeilveen]

This is my latest work in progress, the last one was very boring but this one sparkles the imagination to make something beautifull.

 

Trying to make this look good enough for the ASAI year book and hoping for your feedback to improof this one.

 

Its still low res and without 3D grass, this is just photoshop grass with a filter spekkle or something like that. Apoligies for the poor render resolution and AA, but this is what I can do at the moment.

 

C&C are very welcome,

 

 

Ronald

[jkletzien]

Trying to make this look good enough for the ASAI year book and hoping for your feedback to improof this one.

 

A good goal indeed, http://www.asai.org/AIP22entry for those unfamiliar it is a great measure as it puts your work up against other artists who also represent architecture for a living - and is judged by folks who's main criteria is different than the ones we typically discuss here.

 

As far as the piece itself - I think you have some opportunity here with the water in the foreground - however I think your POV is too far away (or too low) because:

1. It seems the perspective of the water's edge is contorted to show more width to the water than would really be there.

2. The shape of the water doesn't compose well - ending as it does on the right halfway across the building above.

 

So...I would move my camera forward which will make the water wider, and let the water extend to the right edge of the canvas.

 

I would also reflect again on what the purpose of the illustration is - as at present your focus is on the right building (vignetteing, position on canvas, maximum contrast) but architecturally it looks like you should be featuring a complex and not one building. If this is the case, I might consider altering some stuff (moving the target point to the left, adding figures to the left...basically things to take the concentration away from the one front and center.

 

Having entered a few of these competitions I would also consider carefully the fairly commonplace device of dropping in tree branches in the foreground. I have seen years where the judges as a matter of course immediately discount any artist that resorts to this device without good reason. For instance I would certainly look at Lex Balling's site (again as I am sure you are very familiar with his work) as that dude gets in every year, his work is consistently fabulous and features similar landscapes as yours (without having the disembodied tree hanging in to the frame): http://www.7arts.nl

 

Good Luck, I think it is going to be a fantastic year for ASAI and it would be great if you were there too.

[Zeilveen]

Thank you Jon for your reaction and I must say that Im really happy with your advice. Specially those words about composition, would love to chat more about that later on. The client will give me his reaction this week and I would need to finalise the image.

 

I'm familiar with the work of Lex and 7arts. Even worked together with two of his modellers on one occasion ten years ago. He was good than and is still very much the best Holland has to offer if you ask me.

 

Must say that I appreciate your work as well and its great you are happy giving others some tips here and there. Hope you guys make into the yearbook this year and im sure its going to be very intesting to see this years line up. I feel overall quality of 3D work is shooting up this last two years.

 

Ronald

[Sawyer]

I would also consider carefully the fairly commonplace device of dropping in tree branches in the foreground.

 

 

Infact at the ASAI members site there was a list of cliches in archi illustrations the foreground tree was #1 on the list.