Beginner needing critique

[franklinlogan]

Studio/Institution: Freelance
Genre: Residential Interior
Software: Maya, Mental Ray, Photoshop
Website: http://cargocollective.com/fvlogan
Description:

Hello everyone,

 

This is my first time posting on here, seeing as I just recently found this forum. Now looking around, you guys have posted some amazing work on here, so who better to ask for help?

 

I know I need a lot of work, so please, feel free to tear me apart. I recently graduated college, and I want to work in arch vis, so I want to take my work up to the next level.I also attached another recent image, and I have a few more images up on my website too.

[Jeff Mottle]

Hi Franklin, welcome to the forums. I'm sure others will have some more feedback, but here are my 2 cents:

 

1) I'm really feeling the composition. It makes the room seem really short.

2) The lighting of your outdoor map does not match the lighting that is coming into the room. It seems much too dark and without some comps you would not be able to get both both the indoor and outdoors exposure to be the same given how bright the sun is coming into the room.

3) The curtain is blown out. It seems much more over exposed in this shot compared to the lighting on the floor.

4) Looks like this scene could render longer or adjust your settings as there is still a fair bit of noise in the shot. Not sure which renderer you are using.

5) The pillow and bedspread feel a bit stiff. Might need to work a bit more on that modelling.

6) Maybe add some tilt to that floor lamp. I doubt you would point it straight at the wall and it feels like it got dropped in from a model collection without any adjustments.

7) You've got some artifacting going on in the grooves in the walls. light and dark sections that look out of place due to render settings I would presume.

8) The stack of tables seems a bit out of place for a bedroom. Would you ever really use that many tables in one small room?

 

Hope that helps.

 

J

[franklinlogan]

Hey Jeff,

 

Thanks alot for the feedback, I'm going to take all of this into account. Its funny that you mention the table thing, I never thought of that till now. I was just modeling off of this reference image:

 

 

It does seem a touch impractical. How do you suggest I go about adding an outoor map more accurately? Ive been having a hard time with it, as I usually just leave my scenes with the white glow in the window. Any more critique would be greatly appreciated.

[Jeff Mottle]

The composition of the reference is a much stronger composition as it gives a better sense of depth by layering the rafters the hanging light and the bed. It also shows the scale of the room much better. The composition you chose makes the room seem very short and cramped. I assumed the tables were a designer thing. I think this is much less of an issue than the other items. You should be able to get a correct background using exposure control and some work in post (Photoshop). You'll notice the real image is a lot brighter outside, slightly out of focus due to the camera aperture, and also some glare, especially noticeable in the top left windows.

 

Also look at the small details in the actual photo that make the image more believable: the wrinkles on the bed, the carpet, the light tilted, light cord, book opened, less uniform floor wood texture, glare on the floor and windows etc. Your scene also need to be exposed better to being our more tonality. The lighting in your first draft is flat.

 

Looking forward to seeing more updates.

[Ernest Burden III]

That endwall elevation is likely symmetrical. Study the photo for layout and window type. And Jeff's right about the tables. They don't go, even if they're in the photo. Imagine laying in the bed and having that towering over you. The photo does what I would have suggested--lower the viewpoint.