STRAT Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 All the best guys, drink loads of beer, stuff urselves silly, and be merry and have a good time! me and the mrs.STRAT are going on vacation in exactly 4 hours from now (10.30pm). YAY!!!!! It's my Crimble pressie to her - a romantic 5 day river cruise down the river Rhine in Germany. inclusive on xmas day is a 7 course dinner on board. cya all next week Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ray Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 That sounds like fun! Good holiday spirit everyone! (For those of you that have seen the Jack-in-the-Box commercial, picture me wearing the LARGE antlers!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STRAT Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 well, i hope we're all of an age to finally know the truth about Santa. (if not, then please look away now, only this will mar you for the rest of your life.....) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen. There are 2 billion children (persons under eighteen) in the world. But since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 71.604 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point no. 1) could pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. (Thats the ship not the person!) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 Quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion - If Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's been vaporized by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhinks Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Nice Happy xmas, and busy 2005. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard McCarthy Posted December 23, 2004 Share Posted December 23, 2004 Some how I feel "Happy Chrismas" sounds kinda weird?? okay, MERRY XMAS and Happy New year Everyone!! From yours truely, Richard McCarthy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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